ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it because I queefed?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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