fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
