with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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