That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
