Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
