Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
