I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
