Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
