it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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