Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You left your phone here
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