Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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