It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
