New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
