I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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