so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
