and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
