My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
