Porn is love you can see.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
