wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
