I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
