dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
