It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
