Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He felt like a one man threesome
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
