I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
