i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
