My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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