Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
