I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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