Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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