The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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