$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
