You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
