Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
