Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
