goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
