sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
