so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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