Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We are all done wearing pants today
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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