I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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