One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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