Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
my poor anus
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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