I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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