went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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