i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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