Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
