Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
