And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
