Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
