It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
