Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
